I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
