I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
