i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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