if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
