Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
