she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
