As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
