Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
You're like the curious george of whores
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
