I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
