oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Randomize
