Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
