She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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