theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
All I want is dick and wine.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
