Umm I'm too high to move.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Randomize
