i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
