Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
