Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
