My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
