If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
that's an acceptable place to lick
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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