my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
