Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Just puked most of my soul out..
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
