Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Randomize
