Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
