Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
