Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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