so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
the condom got lost in my hair
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I should be sponsored by Trojan
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
