omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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