I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
