I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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