I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
