I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
