I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
