Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
You made out with two different species that night
I have feelings that need drinking.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
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