Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
