He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
