I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
