One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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