Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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