Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
