Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Randomize
