apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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