I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
My life is pants optional.
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