That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Randomize
