Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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