apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
