I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
