Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
