mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
