SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
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