i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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